When someone hurts your child, you find out what kind of parent you are. Today, I found a biter in our playgroup, and that kid so happened to leave his teeth marks on Kairo’s arm.
Backstory: We were at Cheeky Monkeys again. (You can read about our first adventure here, just go to Tuesday). I was talking with a mom from London before her son wanted to play with a toy.
Kairo and Biter begin struggling with the toy. Though mom is right beside them, she isn’t saying anything to her child.
Biter had the toy first, but it’s more than big enough for both boys to share. Kairo isn’t stopping Biter from using it, but he is taking up a lot of space.
I notice their squabble heating up and mom does too. She pulls her boy away, which makes Kairo go away too. However, when the boy goes back, Kairo goes back. (My boy can be a jerk in that way).
Their shoving amplfies and Kairo is winning the match until…
Biter: [bites Kairo]
Mom: What did you do? No! No!
Me: [calmly brewing] You okay, buddy?
Kairo: [looks at arm and cries louder]
Me: Let me see.
Teethmarks on both sides.
Mom: [embarrassed] Say sorry!
Biter: [thinks] Breezy, please.
Mom: [takes him out for a talking] I’m so sorry!
I recently wrote a post about how I idolized parenting before I became a parent. Once again, when I was single, I just knew what type of dad I’d be:
Noob: [boasting to self] I’d never encourage my kids to fight. I would get my kids to talk through their problems and not promote the “hit him back” philosophy.
After seeing my kid get bitten, I had the opportunity to practice what I preached. Kairo was crying in my arms, and we had a tender moment where I knew I could change his entire perspective on life. So what did I tell him?
War Survivor: Hey, bud. You okay?
Kairo: [sobs] Mmmhmm.
War Survivor: Look, if a little kid ever bites you again, you know what I want you to do?
Kairo: [sobs] No.
War Survivor: Push him. Push him hard. [thinks] And when he’s on the ground, kick his teeth in.
War Survivor: What will you do next time?
Kairo: Push him.
War Survivor: And hit him if you have to. [thinks] Using the elbow preferably.
In the end
Look, the mom was super apologetic and embarrassed. It wasn’t her fault.
That’s not entirely true. My kids won’t bite people because they know I have no problem biting them to teach a lesson. I teach my kids swiftly and harshly, so they don’t do that crap in public. Yeah, my kid pushes, but only when yours does first.
The biter isn’t a bad kid for hurting Kairo. (Toddlers are menaces). In fact, I’m grateful for the action. I learned the type of parent I am, which is why Kairo will be signed up for martial arts pretty soon.
I already started making calls.
Other than the bite, the boys had a great time
Here’s a snippet of their day: