No Offense…But I Hate Authors (Ten Commandments of Review Requests)

Yes. I am a self-published author, but I’m a genuine person first, and I enjoy rules and regulations. I follow directions and my objective is to always be polite to someone doing me a favor.

But you damn authors…Ugh! You disgust me.

As authors, we need reviewers to check out our books and post them on websites. With the market so crowded with self-published novels, reviewers receive tons of requests from people that need to work harder on their manuscripts. They don’t invest in cover art, they don’t have editors, and they hardly spent time writing…it is that obvious.

I don’t care about what you do with your book, but follow the Ten Commandments for requesting a review.

  1. I am the The Book, your book and you should invest time in me.
  2. You shall not make book requests if your book is not complete with editing and TLC.
  3. You should not harass or banter your reviewer because they said your work sucks.
  4. Remember that reviewers are offering you their precious time and you should not abuse that or ask when they will finish.
  5. Honor your reviewer so you seem professional at all times.
  6. You shall not send them an email unless they request it.
  7. You shall check their review policy and notice if they don’t want to read your crap.
  8. You shall not post in forums that explicitly say ‘for reviewers’.
  9. You shall not give false testimony against someone who has written an honest review.
  10. You shall not covet your reviewer’s review or write one for yourself.

Just a minute ago, I was searching for reviewers in a forum that says “For reviewers to solicit to authors”.

Know what that means?

If a reviewer says they’re intereted in a review, message them. Stop clouding the forum trying to publicize your book. They have a ‘message me’ button for a reason.

If you’re an author that is on any forum website and you do not know how to use the internet, stop! Don’t use the internet. It’s not going to help your sales if you’re frustrating the people you’re publicizing to.

We all need these reviews so stop angering the mighty ones, reviewers. If we lose these people, good authors that follow the rules will be out of luck.

Lastly, if you haven’t had a non-friend beta-reader for your novel, don’t send it to someone for review. You’re wasting our time. Find out if your book is worth anything before you get bad reviews. It’s a warning for you.

2 thoughts on “No Offense…But I Hate Authors (Ten Commandments of Review Requests)

  1. As a reviewer I totally agree. I have seen a lot of requests that ignore my stated terms for reviews. I added a contact form to guarantee I get the info I need. It is amazing how many people did not include any contact info with a review request.

    Your book looks very interesting by the way and it has an amazing cover.

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