People Let Me Tell You Bout My Best Friend

Best Friend

I never thought that I would be friends with a two year old. I didn’t even know what that could possibly look like until recently.

When I was younger, my dad would always refer to me as his best friend. I thought, “Creeper.” That didn’t make any sense to me. You had to be pretty lonely to have a kid as your best friend. Clearly our relationship was one sided [evil laugh].

Actually, my dad was pretty cool. We hung out and talked regularly. He was a very present dad. He just didn’t listen. Always spoke over me. Rarely did things that I enjoyed doing. Etc.

I’m not critiquing my dad here. For a father that had no father, he’s a good dad. I’m listing his flaws because I was always conscious of them when I was growing up. His flaws made me want to be a better dad to my unborn children.

Now that my kids are born, I keep his flaws at the forefront of my mind. As a result, I’m a damn awesome dad. [For those that didn’t know, I’m pretty arrogant in real life…No. Seriously.]

Thankstaking

You could skip this anecdote and get to the moral

We recently celebrated Thankstaking with my mom. While all of the food was being prepped, my son played with one of his favorite big kids, his cousin Klowi.

Over and over (because he’s a repetitive old fart), my dad kept saying, “They play together really well.”

I didn’t reply to his comment (which may be why he kept repeating himself, but I really think it’s because he’s old). Instead, I just let the day play out.

Kairo and Klowi (yes we’re a big family of K’s, including Katherine, Kenya, Kahmryn, and Kalel), began playing about an hour after we arrived. They didn’t go into their normal play because she had to get ready and my sister is a diva that takes a little time to get fly.

During the hour, I walk around and play with him. We jam to some programmed sounds on the keyboard and flip lights off in on (that part wasn’t my idea).

After the hour, they played for about an hour off and on. Thirty minutes in, the evil villain in my son emerged. He began throwing things around and stepping on Klowi’s toys just to get under her skin. It’s hilarious to hear. She shouts, “Boy, what are you doing?” To that, Kairo hits her with a “Heheh,” before walking away.

Ultimately, they continue their off and on play until Kairo just gets bored. He drags me in their room and asks me to engage in some imaginary play with some plastic food.

Meh. I don’t want to.

“Daddy, sit down.”

Meeeeh. I don’t want to.

“Daddy, sit down. Pwease.”

I give in. We make mom some chicken and fries (she’s a vegetarian, but it’s plastic so I don’t know if that counts or nah).

The off and on play continues for another twenty minutes. I think I’m free. The real food is kinda ready and I’m already snacking on it. Actually, I’m damn near ready to leave because my mom’s house is like slave ship, humid and hot regardless of outside temperatures.

Kairo gets bored with Klowi again and steals her miniature beach ball. Guess where he takes it? “Daddy, throw it.”

Meh. “Play with Klowi.”

“Daddy, throw it.”

Meeeeeeeh!

I give in and throw it. Klowi catches it and tries to play with Kairo, but he’s definitely done with her, so he keeps trying to get me to take over the game.

Moral

You’re pretty damn lazy if you skipped the previous part

After his interaction with Klowi, I realized that Kario and I spend a lot of time together when I’m home. I am his play buddy. My wife and I wanted to have two kids that are close in age (21 months apart) so that they could occupy each other’s time. However, I don’t foresee that happening.

I intentionally build an unbreakable bond with my kids, doing things they like, listening (even if all they can say is dadadadada), and teaching them ways to have fun and learn.

During our Thankstaking celebration, Kairo didn’t come to me because he was bored. He came to me because we always play together.

20161126_193345Just today, I spent the bulk of my day, painting (great idea mommy), playing with Play-Doh (bless whoever created that toxic clay), and crashing cars in his room.

I spend time with my guys. And no I don’t expect an award for that. My job as a dad is to be present (pretty easy when you’ve mastered the art of breathing). However, what’s not in the job description is to love spending time with my kids. We are always playing around because I know it will make them better people. And honestly, I do it because it makes me feel better on the inside. That’s what friendships are supposed to be about–people that love sharing time with one another. That’s who my kids are to me.

Yup, my little guy, Kalel, is my best bud too. He’s almost ready to crawl around with his big bro and I. For now, we’ll just keep screaming at each other and blowing spit bubbles (he wins at both).

 

8 thoughts on “People Let Me Tell You Bout My Best Friend

  1. Connecting is one hell of a struggle that i have with my stepdaughter.
    just like you, I keep my dad’s mistakes in the back of my mind when talking, playing or punishing her so as not to ruin a human… Number one rule that I live by with her is-never compare her to someone else’s child to her face or at all ( do you want rebellion, cause that’s how you get rebellion)

    Having a preteen daughter all of a sudden with none of the actual daddy daughter days is freaken horrible…. I skipped all the fun stuff that connects a child to their parents and jumped right into how a woman’s manners, hygiene ect. define her from a man’s point of view.. I love her and we have fun times, but all that does is remind me that there’s going to be a gap in her life that neither her biodonor or I were there for…..in the end she is mine and I have to figure out a way to bond with her….. Second hardest thing I’ve done in my life lol.. probably not on the same page as your post but venting is always good

    1. Bro! I get you. You’re describing my job.

      For the past three years, I taught seventh and eight grade. Jumping into the life of a child that has already been shaped is very challenging (and you have it on an entirely different level). With my first set of students, I spent 3-4 hours per day with them, sometimes more. I viewed them as my kids and built beautiful, lasting relationships with them. I had to learn that (as a teacher, again this is different for you), I couldn’t discipline them the same way that they had been used to. I learned how to manipulate them, so that they could develop their own sense of what’s wrong and right. I knew that I had very few privileges when it came to shaping them because their parents were always number one.

      With my own kid, it’s different, and more difficult. I’m the one that shapes him mostly and I have to be very aware of my decisions. To think, you’re playing both of these roles simultaneously…I can’t imagine. Still, love is the foundation. I don’t have any words for you because I can’t truly relate, but I did want you to know I’m listening. Oh! Maybe this song will help:

    1. Yes. Sorry. It’s unedited and sitting on my computer. I can give you the first draft if you’re that eager and you still buy it when it’s out. If you don’t want to buy it that’s okay too. Just email me.

      1. That would be awsome and I’m definitely buying it I’ve read all your book so far and more than once plus considering how I don’t read that’s saying a lot ha

          1. XO could I also get a draft? I would love that I am literally your #1 fan though you may remember me. If not its fine I’ll still be your fan!!

          2. Geez, Jaden. I never saw this comment and I haven’t been on my website in months. I’m setting things up right now to start blogging again. And I have a rough draft of a book I could send you. Just email me at kashifross@gmail.com. Sorry, doode. I’ve been really absent minded lately. I’m catching up now.

Leave a Reply