The reason I openly discuss human sexuality is because discussions stop ignorance. Verbal avoidance is the worst form of control, especially birth control. Thinking that not talking about one’s sexuality will stop others from being uncomfortable is a great way to repress urges and cause stress. Better yet it prevents us from informing others of things they didn’t know.
Recently, I began chatting with a reviewer from Goodreads. Very mature person for the most part, but immature in a way as well. I was shocked when she told me she was a teenager. After discussing relationships between authors and reviewers, I thought she was in college. I believe she’s one year away so I wasn’t too far off.
During our discussion, I “offended” her by saying I wouldn’t have given her my book if I’d known she was in high school, due to the violence and sexuality. She wasn’t really upset, but explained that authors should stop the age old discussion of whether teens are mature enough to read about sex. In her opinion, they are. But what she said after is what I’ve been trying to get across for ages:
Ok, let’ take sex for example. Of course there shouldn’t be too much of it, I mean come on, we’re not talking erotica here. There’s a genre dedicated to that. But why not take the opportunity to teach kids about it? A lot of kids nowadays don’t have parents who would talk to them about sex – my parents didn’t.
So here you go writers. Straight out of a teens mouth. If you’re going to talk about sex in your novel, make it informative. Teach them the goods and the bad. Why are your characters so lustful or restrained? Make it interesting and knowledgeable.
I know there are old farts out there that can’t rationalize this in their minds. You think, “Sex isn’t for young minds.” You’re wrong. It is in their biology. Love is a chemical process that happens in the majority of the population. Therefore, telling people what they can and cannot express is wrong. Teach!
There are still people out there that don’t know what a meaningful sexual relationship is about. They need to be taught and informed.
I’m sick of random sex scenes as well. If it’s going to be in the book, make it have a point.
In my novels, women are the pursuers of sex. I do this because their sexuality and roles in the world are oppressed. My objective is to prove that both men and women desire each other.
The main character actually hates that women think he just wants sex and he’s not about the romance game either. With this I’m trying to prove that not every man fits the stereotype of a horny beast. I’ll make things more clear in the coming books, but it’s still implied.
You can’t go anywhere without learning about sex in the worst way. Even soda commercials are teaching you how to objectify women. Authors have an intellectual realm to educate and inform. Use it wisely.
Talk about your own fetishes and ways people look upon them negatively. Show how beautiful it is to meet someone with the same desire. Express love. Show hateful sex. Teach the world something new, but don’t repress it.